That’s one of Rose Mary Walls’ paintings.
What’s the first thing you think when you look at it? Me, I think, “Hey, that’s not bad.” It’s not good either. But like, it’s not terrible.
And I that’s an interesting insight into her character.
See, she lives in this space of dependence. She wants to be self-sufficient, she even needs to be self-sufficient, so much the she begins to believe that she is. But she’s not. She’s lying to herself. And, it’s kind funny, ‘cos she does that a lot.
She believes that her writing and her paintings should warrant fame, but they don’t. And instead of blaming herself for it she goes off and blames someone else. She honestly believes they’re amazing. She also believes she’s a good mother.
But when the opportunity presents itself to her to make something more of herself, she brushes it off. ‘Cos she doesn’t want to bother actually doing that. She wants to live in her happy little world of denial and pretend that everything’s fine.
And that denial has made her a selfish person. Because, when she blames everything on someone else, she can pretend that what she’s doing is fine. So she rationalizes.
“I need more energy than the kids.” So she goes and buys chocolate bars, and eats them all herself, despite the fact that her kids are starving.
But maybe it’s not just that.
She seems scared to do anything else. When Jeannette asks her why she won’t leave Rex, all Jeannette gets is some horrified expression and an aghast short answer. She’s so scared of turning into her mother that she lets herself live in deplorable conditions.
Rose Mary Walls is too scared to move out of where she is in her life, and it shows.
And Jeannette talking about it, accepting it, embracing it shows too. Because she’s finally come to terms with it. She’s not running away from her past the way her mother did. Because, this act, the act of writing the memoir proves that she’s strong enough to face her past, and I think it provides just enough closure so that she can truly forgive and forget.
I like how you used "'cos", you really are writng like you speak. Anyways, I agree that it is funny she is convincing herself that she is self sufficient. It is like she is subliminally tricking her own brain. If she wants to be famous for painting she needs to do something abstract: throw paint on a canvas, give it a name, wait a century and BAM! her legacy/dead corpse is famous.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used "'cos", you really are writng like you speak. Anyways, I agree that it is funny she is convincing herself that she is self sufficient. It is like she is subliminally tricking her own brain. If she wants to be famous for painting she needs to do something abstract: throw paint on a canvas, give it a name, wait a century and BAM! her legacy/dead corpse is famous.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that people do this a lot, living in self-denial and blaming other people for their problems, and when their friends try to help them, they get really defensive and say that they wouldn't survive without (insert bad thing here). Lots of self pity.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I like your style of making the paragraphs, I've never seen emphasis made through new paragraphs. It's almost like a poem, with stanzas.
I also read The Glass Castle and I think you made a really great insight into the mother's character. She seems to be terrified of commitment, responsibility, and being like her mother. It's surprising that not only did Jeanette not turn out like this, but she turned out the exact opposite. As the book progresses, you can see Jeanette become more mature, even making the responsible decision to move to New York City when she was only a teenager!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you included the picture of the mothers art in here. For the greater portion of the book, I was wondering whether the art was even good. But you gave great points showing what the mom was really like. She may be a good artist, but not really the selfless mother you would hope for.
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